The Friday List of Little or No Consequence #138

Vowel please, Carol...
The 15 Clubs Of The Premier League And Football League With The Highest Vowel-To-Consonant Ratios In Their Name

1. Torquay United (46.2%)
2. Leeds United (45.5%)
3. Bournemouth (45.5%)
4. Liverpool (44.4%)
5. Peterborough United (44.4%)
6. Morecambe (44.4%)
7. Hartlepool United (43.8%)
8. Arsenal (42.9%)
9. Chelsea (42.9%)
10.Everton (42.9%)
11. Reading (42.9%)
12. Carlisle United (42.9%)
13. Southend United (42.9%)
14. Crewe Alexandra (42.9%)
15. Hereford United (42.9%)

Jeu du Jour Week 11: Return of the Unrelegables

It's about time we shone our Jeu du Jour spotlight on Auxerre as we look back on Week 11. The only team never to be relegated from France's top flight started off this season as though that might all change, but after a defeat in each of their first three games, they now find themselves unbeaten in eight and up to fifth in the table.

AJA's progress was maintained on Saturday with their fifth successive win, 2-1 at home to Montpellier. Once again it was the Polish striker Ireneusz Jelen who did the damage, bagging two goals to add to the two he got last week against Lille. Both goals had a familiar ring to them, the first beginning with a run down the left by Aurélien Capoue who crossed for Jelen in the area, the second beginning with a run down the right by Dariusz Dudka who crossed for... well you can probably work out the rest.

Auxerre by no means found this an easy victory, however, and Nenad Dzodic's consolation goal for the visitors in stoppage time was certainly deserved, but there can be no denying Jean Fernandez has got his team playing very efficiently these days. They're now level on 20 points, meeting Montpellier on their way down, and at this stage you'd have to say they're a good each-way bet for a Europa League place.

Above them, Bordeaux retained top spot with a gritty 1-0 win over Monaco. In a no-frills meeting between the two sides, the winning goal came just after the hour mark when Marc Planus slotted home a spilled save by Stephane Ruffier after Marouane Chamakh had headed a Wendel free kick straight at the Monaco keeper.

So Monaco's recent run of fine form which has seen them rise to third in the table receives a setback, albeit perhaps only a temporary one, while Lyon stay only two points behind Bordeaux after their 1-0 win over Saint Etienne last Saturday. In a fairly balanced game, both teams hit the woodwork but Lyon upped the pressure in the second half and picked up all three points through former Saint Etienne player Bafetimbi Gomis.

Losing their footing in the leading pack were Marseille who returned from their swine flu-enforced absence last week only to draw 1-1 at home to Toulouse. Within eight minutes, Toulouse found themselves down to ten men when their keeper Yohann Pelé was judged to have felled Mamadou Niang on the edge of the area. Off went Pelé but no penalty was given, yet this didn't discourage Toulouse from rallying even with their numerical advantage.

With 28 minutes on the clock, they actually took the lead thanks to a wonderful long-range strike from an indirect free kick by Moussa Sissoko (see below). It was a tremendous effort and one which set up the away side for the second half in no uncertain terms. And they almost weathered the storm to the very end, but sadly their substitute keeper Olivier Blondel – who had been brilliant since replacing Pelé – gave the ball away, only to see it end up in the back of his own net via a neat bit of finishing from Brandão.


Marseille drop to seventh, then, but don't be fooled – that game in hand against PSG could see them rise back up to third if they were to win it, and just in case you're wondering, the match itself has been rescheduled to November 20th following all that nasty swine flu business.

Valenciennes remain a team in tip-top form and are now up to sixth following a very impressive 3-0 away trouncing of Rennes. Bad marking was the order of the day for Frédéric Antonetti's side as Bobo Baldé and Fahid Ben Khalfallah put Valenciennes 2-0 up in the second half. Their third was highly debatable, however, as Grégory Pujol's curling shot hit both post and bar before bouncing down onto the goalline and out again. The referee considered it to have crossed the line, but replays later showed otherwise.

Nonetheless, Rennes continue to fall with just one win in their last five, but the same can be said of PSG who got that win on Sunday – 4-1 away to Sochaux. Goals from Clément, Chantôme, Erdinç and Luyindula brought an end to Sochaux's three game run of wins and keeps foreshortens any further dropping down the table on the team from the capital.

At the other end, we first need to see if Grenoble got their first win of the season, andddddd... no. Defeat number 11 came at the hands of Lille, 2-0 at home, which leaves the bottom club with just five goals in the 'For' column and 23 in the 'Against'. On the plus side, congratulations to Mecha Bazdarevic for hanging onto his job for so long against all the odds.

And they're all queuing up to be in the bottom three, seemingly. Le Mans lost again on Saturday, 1-0 away to Nice who, with three wins in their last four, are now well clear of the relegation zone. Above Grenoble and Le Mans are Lens who picked up a vital if unsubstantial point in their 1-1 draw at home to Lorient. Fourth-bottom is Boulogne who predictably, perhaps, are finding life in Ligue 1 a bit of a struggle after they lost 2-1 at home to Nancy.

Well there we must leave it for another Ligue 1 round-up. Full results and standings can be picked up here. For now though, it's à bientôt...

Football Americana: Conference semi-finals, first leg

The regular season is over and the playoffs are the order of the day in Major League Soccer. Surprise qualifiers Real Salt Lake made themselves known in the first leg of their tie with Supporters Shield winners Columbus Crew, while all four conference semi-finals were even matches with little to separate the sides. Excitement was not in short supply.

The 2009 post-season got underway at Qwest Field, where expansion club Seattle Sounders could only secure a goalless draw with Houston Dynamo. Houston had some great early chances but had Brian Mullan to thank for clearing off his own line in the 14th minute. Shortly afterwards, Dynamo goalkeeper Pat Onstad chest-barged Fredy Montero and the Colombian went to ground in embarrassing fashion. Both were cautioned for their efforts.

Montero's better side emerged in the second half and he created some space for himself on the hour only to fire wide. The stars of the evening were the goalkeepers, Onstad and Kasey Keller, who kept the ball out with the exception of Nate Jaqua's disallowed goal in the 77th minute. Onstad had stopped after hearing a whistle, but the advantage should certainly have been played.

Only a late goal could separate the teams at Rio Tinto, Real Salt Lake gaining the edge over Columbus Crew. The Crew created lots of chances but most were struck right down the throat of RSL goalkeeper Nick Rimando, and Robbie Findley's sliding finish made them pay.

Gritty New England Revolution looked in trouble at Gillette Stadium against Chicago Fire. Chris Rolfe pounced on an error by Matt Reis to put the Fire in front in the 17th minute, but the Revs came from behind to win 2-1. Emmanuel Osei flicked in a header to equalise in first half stoppage time and the talismanic Shalrie Joseph got the winner 15 minutes from the end, prodding in to end a goalmouth scramble. Both teams hit the woodwork but New England take a slight advantage into the second leg.

The most promising game of the weekend delivered the goods, providing four goals in the Carson superclasico. Chivas USA opened the scoring far too easily in the fourth minute, Maicon Santos finding the corner past a flailing Donovan Ricketts. Mike Magee equalised for LA Galaxy ten minutes later, again beating the goalkeeper too easily after pouncing on terrible defending. Landon Donovan put the Galaxy in front thanks to hilariously shambolic defending by Chivas, but Chivas got the all-important leveller. Maykel Galindo raced onto a stray backpass to secure parity for Chivas.

At the halway point, it's advantage Houston, RSL and New England, but only very slightly. Each game remains in the balance and the second legs should be absolute crackers. I think Houston will have a little too much nous for Seattle but I think RSL might cause Columbus some problems. New England will fancy their chances at Toyota Park and I think LA Galaxy have a superb opportunity to win the MLS Cup. They will beat Chivas if they're on their game, but it won't be easy.

Bundesbag Week 11: After you. No after you.

Every league experiences them, sometimes more than once. That's a weekend where the championship contenders all contrive to lose the initiative.

We'll begin with a shock defeat to Hamburg who were at home to 'Gladbach. A fixture, rare in the Bundesliga as one in which you should have been able to put the house on a home win. However, if the homeless population of the Rieperbahn increased over the weekend it's because the away side stormed back from 2-1 down to win 3-2 thanks to a winner from substitute Rob Friend.

Bruno Labbadia's squad is missing the odd striker or twelve and is said to be interested in signing Andrei Voronin. However, their problems at the back require urgent attention and lend credence to my earlier contention that Bremen are emerging as the title favorites given their strength at the back. At least it would if Werder had not surrendered two goals to Nurnberg and had to chuck the kitchen sink at them to salvage a point.

That draw was enough to briefly move Bremen to the top of the table on Saturday afternoon. The way was clear then for Leverkusen to extend their morning lead or for Schalke to top the table by beating the Bayer club in the 5:30 kick off later that day. Needless to say the pressure got to both of them and the game finished with another 2-2 draw. The result could have been so much more for Leverkusen after going 2-0 up with goals from Toni Kroos and Stefan Kiesling. However, Kevin Kuranyi and Vincente Sanchez lifted the roof off the Arena Auf Schalke with two late strikes to keep their guests on top while narrowing the gap at the top AND bringing Hoffenheim into the fray. Yes, Hoffenheim are back on the agenda after an impressive 1-0 win at Freiburg on Sunday.

Immediately behind them are Bayern Munich who could have sealed Stuttgart coach Marcus Babbel's fate had they won at the Mercedes Benz Stadium. As it happened, the home side busted a gut for their coach and claimed a point in a goalless draw. Babbel lives to fight another day but will fear what awaits them in Sevilla in the Champions League this week. Bayern on the other hand were to suffer the indignity of losing to a French team last night.

Elsewhere, Borussia Dortmund are slowly progressing up the table after beating Hertha 2-0 at the Westfalon. BVB had to work hard for their result which was not completely assured until Lucas Barrios scored a late nerve-settler. Improving Hannover should be well pleased with their away win at Koln. Bochum, meanwhile, are not improving and lost again, this time to Frankfurt.

Finally, Mainz have made a great start to the season. They have 18 points, only one behind Bayern and level with their opponents last weekend, Wolfsburg. Much of their success is down to the six goals and five assists from attacking midfielder Andreas Ivenschitz. He was on the mark once again last Saturday. The champions took the lead with two goals from Obafemi Martins. Chadri Amri and Ivenschitz and brought it back to 2-2. Then Misimovic scored The Wolves' third and that looked to be that until Tim Hoogland struck late to round off this weekend of meaningful draws.

In the Second Division, Armenia Bielefeld stay top thanks to goals from Giovanni Federico and Christopher Katongo in their 2-0 win against Cottbus. Second are Kaiserslautern followed by St Pauli.

That's it. Results and tables here. Follow the Bundesbag on Twitter.