I'm Jose Mourinho.
You know, the good looking one, formerly of FC Chelsea.
In my new book you can read lots of things about football, not about football, eggs (good or bad), and my "quick start" guide to Football fans.
For instance...
Most of the black community are fans of Arsenal, the Jewish community support Tottenham, in the most disadvantaged area of London they’re fans of West Ham, and Fulham are a small club but with a strong nucleus of fans.
Chelsea, a cosmopolitan club, with fans famous around the world, like Bryan Adams, Claudia Schiffer and Chelsea, the daughter of ex-president Clinton.
There is a common denominator among them all — they’re foreigners, which fits in with the general profile of the fan of the club.
Whoever is a foreigner and leads a life above the means of the average citizen is a fan of Chelsea, because Chelsea have the most expensive tickets, the most expensive meals, their social life around the game is more important than that of other clubs.
Because they have that spending power, the Chelsea fan is more ‘society’ and, of course, that’s reflected in the stadium, with the support they give the team.
It’s the soft sort of fan who doesn’t get behind the team a lot, who don’t organise themselves into fan groups, with the cheering on that is characteristic of the image of English football.
They create a different atmosphere because a lot of our fans also go to the opera, the theatre, other types of shows that don’t lend themselves to lots of shouting.
That’s the Chelsea fan. That’s why Chelsea have some difficulty in asserting themselves as a great club of English football.
Enjoy the book, won't you!
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10 comments:
Chelsea fans have trouble singing at matches because their mouths are full of champagne and caviar, which was eaten off the backs of orphans.
LOL! I suppose that's the equivalent of the prawn sandwiches that Man U fans are supposed to eat (according to Roy Keane)!?
Yes. Oh and the orphans are West Ham fans, because they're poor and parentless.
Speaking personally, no-one's ever eaten a meal off my back, plus I had the full benefit of being raised by both my parents.
A small correction, but one that I felt was worth making.
:-)
In the interest of accuracy, you may want to write to Jose and ask for a correction in the next publication.
I think legal procedings for defamation of character wouldn't be taking things too far...
My letter will start:
"Dear person of Portuguese origin,
As a wine-swilling Meditteranean type, you'll probably receive this under the table of a seedy bar in Lisbon..."
So does that mean that Spurs and Chelsea have the same supporters?
At this point we turn to Smart for clarification... :)
Did he really write that? I guess it makes me happy to be an Irons fan.
Kent
Here here to that...
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