The Good Whine Guide

This weekend we found ourselves down in the cellar sampling an interesting selection of whines from the Premiership.

First of all, there was the rather acidic 'Chateau Wenger'. This old-fashioned red was uncorked at about 2pm on Sunday and went sour rather quickly thereafter. Normally unassuming and amiable, this one left a very bitter taste in the mouth, so we advise you to avoid it at all times. If you must sample it, don't mix it with claret at the same sitting.

Straight after that, we moved onto a Portuguese whine with an undoubted pedigree yet seems to have gone bad in recent times. Known as 'The Special One', there doesn't seem to be that much that's special about it - indeed many people in North London are now finding it's not as good as they were lead to believe. Best left to fester in a darkened room and forgotten about, we feel.

Earlier in the weekend, we found a rather bland number from the far north-east overlooked by most but which was quite popular in Europe last year. The 'Cote du Roeder' is usually quite mellow, but was sharp on the tongue last week when we sampled it. The 'Roeder' likes to be rested and isn't happy when exposed to the air, however its regular appearances on TV should provide the revenue required to make this whine sweeter in years to come.

Apology
In our article last month we reviewed the 'Chateau Redknapp' 1947 and the 'Semillon Allardyce'. When we said that the 'Allardyce' needed to be bunged regularly and the 'Redknapp' was yours for two-grand in a brown paper bag, we in no way wished to infer that two Premiership football managers of the same name were illegally accepting monetary payments in order to facilitate the transfer of players. We apologise for any distress this may have caused.