Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Half Time

So, here we are at the half-way stage of the 2006 World Cup, and what have we established so far? Our reconnaissance unit has put together this report containing all the facts you need to know:

Fact 1: The Germans like to pass the ball along the ground, avoiding the use of high crosses.
Why else have a TV screen hanging down as low as the one in Frankfurt's stadium?

Fact 2: Ghanaians like to model their hairstyles on household objects.
Step forward Sulley Muntari, owner of 'The Orange Squeezer'...

Fact 3:
91% of people prefer BBC's coverage of the World Cup rather than ITV's.
This can be explained in seven words: "WHERE DO THEY GET THEIR ENERGY FROM...?" Thanks EDF Energy - now piss off...

Fact 4:
Brand-new World Cup footballs that move around in the air needn't be a bad thing...
...as has finally been proved. The 2006 edition, Adidas' Teamgeist, still defies all the laws of aerodynamic science but this one has the added bonus of being filled to at least 45% with helium, hence why so many shots are flying into the top corner of the net.

Fact 5:
If in doubt, throw the form book out
And there we were dismissing Spain and Ecuador as being hardly worth the £1 entry fee for the office sweepstake... and then to really rub it in, France and Brazil turn up and play like... well, me, to be quite frank.

More World Cup briefings coming up soon...

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